Debbie

by Haricot Vert

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about

All instrumentation, vocals and songwriting by Josh Abramovitz
“Ask Him” was written by Debbie Abramovitz
Background vocals for “Nameless” by Cheyenne Grogan
Recorded and mixed at home by Josh Abramovitz
Mastered by TW Walsh

credits

released October 11, 2016

For my mom, Debbie. You will be forever missed.
1957-2015

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Haricot Vert California

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Track Name: Nameless
I’ve been waiting
for the inevitable black curtain to play me off
Put a QR code on my grave
So my mourners can hear my songs

Haven’t been praying to nobody
Since my mother was dragged away
I guess she’s no longer a slave
To this one-way ticket train

After all these years
I wish I could find the chords to wash away the fears
These will have to do for now
I guess I’ll just be nameless anyhow

Wake up with my heart racing
I’ve been pacing
These ever fading steps
I guess I could wake up one morning
To catch a contagious seasonal death
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Or makes you weaker as life drags onward
If I can’t give anymore
Please don’t think of me any less
Track Name: Grief
Do you mind
Waiting outside
Don’t watch my decline
and say everything will be just fine

Like her father, she’s gone
I guess back, from where they came from
Grief is like love without a home
A vagabond with a direction
I’m with you but I feel so alone
Track Name: When I Was a Kid
When I was a kid
I counted on my parents to pull me through
But now that I’m big
I’m thinking ‘bout my parents from their point of views
But I feel so small
Thinking ‘bout how one day I’ll be nothing at all
For now I just live
And recollect the good times when I was a kid

When I was fourteen
An aura blurred my focus and sent me wandering
Got caught up in a screen
An outlet for me to live vicariously
Of all the movies I’ve seen
This one feels the most like reality
Of all the places I’ve been, with you feels the most like normality

Been one year since you took your leave
After aging 40 years in a matter of weeks
Poured your morphine down the sink
So I’m not tempted by your eternal sleep
You never age in my dreams
And when I close my eyes I don’t know which you I’ll see
You slipped right through the seams
But on cold nights your warmth still envelopes me
Track Name: Found
I'm never gonna let this down
But I don't want to cause I wanna live like I've lost my crown
I’ll just keep digging ’til I find nothing worth being found
Nothing worth being found

I'm never gonna leave this town
But babe I don't want to cause out there I’m stripped of my mortal gown
And when you're this high there is no coming down
There is no coming down

I've waited on this empty fog
For seven years I feared I’d lose my mom my grandma and my dog
Can't you tell I'm having a ball
Track Name: Only Son
Your glistening wide eyes
Disperses white noise on the walls in the dark
And your late in life poise
Draws the curtains on the ides of March

When I’m out there running around
I hope you’re up there looking down
Cause I don’t want your life to keep on fading
Cause you were my only one
You wouldn’t want my life, to live on wasting
Cause I was your only son

When I search your room for signs
A woodpecker perched upon your tree
Three mallards in your pool
An orange tabby walking beside me

When I’m out there running around
I hope you’re up there looking down
Cause I don’t want your life to keep on fading
Cause you were my only one
You wouldn’t want my life, to live on wasting
Cause I was your only son

You left long ago it seems
You’re unaware of that in my dreams
On some restless mornings
I dream lucidly
Where I get up and run to your bedside
And for that moment I forget you died
Track Name: One Last Time
How do I sum up your life
I wish I could meet you where my future lies
How do I dry out my eyes
I wish I could reach you
One last time

When you were on borrowed time
I wanted to lead you to a paradise
But the light died in your eyes
Now I wish I could reach you
One last time

Your laughing smile
Lightened the soul
You spread your love
All over this home
Please just tell me you’re fine
I wish I could reach you
One last time

No such thing as closure
This isn’t just a phase
I’ll carry this weight on my shoulders
’Til my dying days 
Just two lone rovers 
In a closed off maze
Track Name: When She Leaves
When she leaves
It bleeds me empty
This room’s her shrine
When she’s not with me
In empty spaces of the night
Thoughts of her creep into the light

Please align my reality with dreams

My day-to-day has been relayed
These mounds of naught have finally caved
Her whispered words of departure hurt
But wandering trails rejoin I’m sure

Hey, let’s kick up dust on this dirt road to pave
Track Name: Gone
You watched me sleep at night
To take the covers off my head, so I could sleep tight
You picked me up at three
To play Candyland, like i had siblings

You told me this as you held me near
The world is vast, but not to fear
For you’ll always be here
Even when you aren’t here

You showed me these chords, you taught me how to strum
and to think, and to give love
You introduced me to The Beatles as we walked the duck pond
It seems so needless for you to be gone

You took my hand as I asked you why
What is it to live, if all must die
Sometimes there’s no reason why
You just push on, and such is life

Every time I think of you
I think of all I couldn’t do
And all that you gave me
I didn’t have a chance to give to you
Track Name: At Your Best
Why did I have to see you leave
But if I didn’t I’d forever be incomplete
Josh please help me I cannot breath
Dissolve another Ativan in Morphine

That crooked smile at your rest
That stuffed owl placed beside your chest
That smell of poplar wood I’ll never forget
But I’ll always remember you at your best

Pumpkin patch in October
Duck pond in the Summer
It’s hard to tell when it’s over
I don’t know where you’re going
But I know where you’ve been
And that’s enough

You came to me in a dream
We were walking down a moon-lit street
You said our hearts beat louder than
The void of eternity
Track Name: Lucid
Lucid in thought
You’re still conversational
But as your body shorts out
A little less emotional

Almost wish you had forgotten about a few things
Like Cambria fog
Winter in Palm Springs
So you wouldn’t be wiped clean before my eyes
Of all sweet memories at the same time

You lived your life and I’ll live mine
You loved your life and I’ll love mine

By the First of March you couldn’t eat
Sometimes I wish you slipped away in your sleep
A seamless end to this mystery

I wrote you a 10-page list
Recollections of untempered happiness we have shared
God knows how I truly miss
Your unfading smile and brown wavy hair

You’re not gripping my hand quite like you used to
And although you let go
I’ll never really lose you